Read president Edie Olson’s letter to the editor of the Indianapolis Star, responding to Matt Tully’s article on how best to help failing schools in our community.
Help our children at school by helping their families
Edie Olson
December 27, 2011
Like most adults I know, I can name teachers who made a lasting impression on me. The same can be said for my children. There is no question that excellent teachers can leave an indelible mark on students and significantly impact their later success. As Matt Tully wrote in his Dec, 21 column, “In education, focus on what we can control.” I agree it is imperative to continually improve the quality and relevance of our schools and curricula.
However, I am not as quick to dismiss the possibility of simultaneously improving the quality of parenting and family life. No family, regardless of how extraordinary and advantaged they might be, can sufficiently compensate for an inadequate school system; neither can the best school system compensate for inadequate or ineffective parenting. Both are necessary for the optimal success of our children.
Daily, at Families First, we see the “bad parents” who are referenced when blame is assessed for school failure. We do not find these parents to be bad people but, rather, good, well-intentioned people with impediments to effective parenting. Among them are unmet basic needs, lack of know-how, addictions and untreated mental illness, domestic violence and lack of transportation. These obstacles to healthy family relationships are not all that mysterious and are treatable.
“I’m thankful for the chance to become the mother my children deserve.” These are the words of a mother battling addiction — a mother who likely did not have the mother whom she deserved. Most of the parents who come to Families First for treatment of addictions have experienced extreme trauma in their lives — often during childhood — that plays a part in their self-medicating with the use of substances.
“I’ve never seen my child’s school. My commute and workday begins at 5 a.m. and ends at 7 p.m. I spend nearly three hours waiting for and changing buses to get to my job on the Far Northwestside. The school where my son is bused is on the Far Southeastside. If I had a car, I could see him play football and meet his teachers rather than waiting for a bus.” These are the words of a mother applying to our family loan program for a car loan.
A father who completed our Batterers’ Intervention group and parenting classes said, “When I was growing up, I can’t even remember the number of schools I attended. We were always trying to keep a step ahead of my abusive father. I never had any positive role models to learn how to be a good husband or father.”
At Families First, we believe that no parent sets out to fail, and that all families have strengths and value regardless of how troubled the relationships might seem. In school systems, there are often negative stereotypes and assumptions about families from lower socio-economic groups that are undeserved, just as there may be positive assumptions about more affluent families that may be equally undeserved. Negative assumptions and attitudes toward parents, who already may harbor feelings of failure from their own educational experience, only reinforce their alienation from their children’s schools.
Evidence-based programs can engage parents in their child’s education. Families First had excellent results with the award-winning program Families and Schools Together in a few schools while funding was available. Just as research demonstrated nationally, there was not only measurable improvement in the children’s behavior and performance, but their parents made advancements in their own education and employment.
The question is not whether it is possible to improve the lives of children by improving the plight of their parents. The question is whether the will exists to do so. At Families First, we are dedicated to doing just that. We hope others will join us.
